Proof reading for Personal Statement

| October 22, 2018

Born in Wenzhou, a high-speed developing city, I
once dreamed of becoming a software engineer, who would fight day and night for
the computer programs. I thought that job would bring me the most happiness,
and realize the value of my life.
However, the business instincts that I was born
with and the business acumen that I acquired later on have, however, gradually
changed life goals, or more appropriately, put me back where I always should
have been. I have set out to make myself as a businessperson.
Upon entering into the Univerisity of Oregon, which
runs a long history college in United States. Even though architecture and
computer science are the most popular major in UO, but I choose business
administration as my major because I thought the business is an opportunity and
a challenge in my college career, also I thought it will bring the most
significant solution to my life.
Being study in Univerisity of Oregon, it is very
important four years in my life becasue I learned a lot of business skills,
which may change my future. After concentrate my business major to finance, I
try my best to become a comprehensive and qualified businessman. I take
different kinds of courses in order to improve my knowledge of business such as
financial analysis and valuation, market communcations and international
finance. In the process of learning, I not only mastered a lot of basic
business skills but also learned to tailor the use of these skills to specific
situations, targeting different companies and products with different
strategies. In addition, I put my skills into business practice, which design
e-commerce webside for 3D System company (Appendix A), and company strategy
plan for Northwest Martial Arts (Appendix B). Such experiences taught me the
value of perseverance in group work as well as importance to my future jobs.
After graduated from University of Oregon, I was
looking for a job which can take advantage of my business skills to help the
management overcome some of the hurdles in the way of the company’s development.
Currently working as an assistant to general manager in Northwest Gold &
Jewelry Exchange Center, which a precious metals trading company found in May
2013. By insight understanding the precious metals trading rules and compare
with the culture difference between the United States and China, I support
several ideas and feedback depend on the situation of this company. These ideas
and feedback got high praise from the president of the company. A financial
plan which I come up with as the major task in 2014 in the company. Ten of the
significant cities as the exclusive agent for the pilot’s financial distinct
from the company. In the next year, our company will give a comprehensive
technical support and marketing planning for these ten cities (Appendix C). The
president of the company and managing director give high praises for me like “a
high- quality talented person” and “Very strong ability to work”.
In order to depth understand business and finance,
I decide to take Master of Science In Finance degree in Hongkong. I believe
that, with in depth knowledge of finance, I can have a firmer grasp of the
company’s operations and thereby exercise more control over the company’s
directions. I am convinced that the MSf degree will pave the way for me to
reach my life-long goal of making myself a full- fledged businessman.
I have different kinds of
hobbies, and calligraphy is my favorite hobby. I acquired several awards and
certificates (Appendix D). The calligraphy brings me the knowledge of arts and
most happiness when I awarded. Furthermore, I am good at radio orienteering
sport, and I award the Certificate Level 2 for National Athlete. That’s the
reason why many people call me a versatile person.
In addition, I am really
interesting in computer science and technologies, and I have computer skills
such as Microsoft Office, Photoshop, Visual Studio and Visual Basic. These
skills are very useful when I was working.
I am applying for acceptance
into Master of Science in Finance Program at The Hongkong University of Science
and Technology because I am interesting in the culture of Hongkong, Moreover, I
hope I can learn as much as business skills in the college.

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